Ok, so you know those days when you really don’t think that you should have gotten out of bed? Yes, well…today is one of those days. Instead of coming into work I should have stayed curled up in bed with a good book (like Harry Potter) and stayed there all day. Yep, that would have been the best option. But being the oh-so-responsible person that I am (and because I cant see into the future…although that would be nice.) I came into work, where our phone system is going on the blitz (and taking our internet with it) so its not even noon yet and I have been on the phone with our phone provider four times today and it probably would have been more if we could actually use our phones. It is amazing how complicated these stupid phones are! I was on the phone with Brian from the Phone Company (the second time) and this is what our conversation basically went like…
Brian “Ok so there should be a box about 4 inches by 4 inches and about ½ an inch thick, with a bunch of wires coming out. Do you see it?”
Alisha “Ummmm. There are two boxes about that size with lots of wires, which one do you want, the grayish brown one or the silver one?”
Brian “The silver one”
Alisha “Ok”
Brian “Now do you see the wires attached to the end?”
Alisha “Yes”
Brian “I need you to remove the Optical Data Wire and place it in the dock that is labeled UB7”
Alisha “Optical Data Wire?”
Brian “Yes”
Alisha…..confused silence……”What color is this wire?”
So I should have stayed in bed. (and pulled a Faris Bueller… cough cough I cant come in today cough I’m sick cough cough cough.) And then I wouldn’t have had to feel so stupid… I hate when technology is smarter than I am.
My mom sent this email to me, I thought it was quite amusing! Enjoy!
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and a voice in the dark said, "Jesus is watching you". He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. After a bit, he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you". Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you". The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh, who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "The same people who would name a Rottweiler, Jesus."
A friend sent this to me.
I think these will work.
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. To avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat, use the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to
use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. (works for babysitting too...)
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Daily thought: some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
